How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) during Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyond
August 16, 2004
Silver, an editor at U.S. News & World Report
, speaks encouragingly in this heartfelt, useful guide for men whose wives or girlfriends have been diagnosed with breast cancer, as was his wife, Marsha, in 2001. Silver, who consulted with surgeons and oncologists for this book, first helps readers deal with the diagnosis, addressing men's stereotypical reactions (usually saying little, followed by overbearing urges to fix the problem), then advising them how to behave (ask questions and, more importantly, listen). He nicely interweaves comments from men and women who have gone through breast cancer diagnosis, setting them off with pull quotes and how-to sidebars such as "Husbanding Her Energies" and "Caring for the Caregiver." His advice is simple and sound: rather than saying "Cheer up, honey, the doctor said things aren't that bad," Silver recommends, "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" He discusses the surprisingly numerous cases in which men have left their spouses, discusses the importance of wives having an "appointment pal" and advises on explaining cancer to children. Silver also smartly examines the various treatments and suggests ways for readers to find sexual intimacy after mastectomy. This guide is an invaluable complement to Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book
and John Link's The Breast Cancer Survival Manual
. Agent, Stephanie Kip Rostan.
Starred review from September 1, 2004
Husbands or boyfriends of women with breast cancer are usually the least addressed in guides to the disease. An editor at U.S. News & World Report, Silver was therefore as clueless as the next man when his wife, Marsha, was diagnosed. Failing to find a manual showing men how to offer the most support and care, he wrote his own. Silver gathered information from medical professionals and men in the same boat, covering every conceivable challenge to life with breast cancer (including suggestions on how to wash a woman's hair while she is wearing drains). Silver's prose is funny, tender, and filled with rock-solid advice. Highly recommended.
Copyright 2004 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.